Nothing will ever be different if I don't change anything. Sure I can be with a different person but if I don't change my relationship style or look into changing the problems that I brought to the relationship I can not expect a different outcome.
This is the one good thing about the Ex. He was the perfect teacher for a beginner relationship.He taught me a lot about the good times in a relationship and the bad. He taught me what is worth fighting for and what isn't. Most importantly he taught me what I am and what I am not willing to sacrifice in my relationship.
I say all this about change and learning to say that I need a new approach. I have a tough exterior but a fragile interior. I can not and will not go through this type of break up again. In order to minimize the chances of repeating my history I need to SLOW DOWN. I need to recognize that while I may want to be in a relationship and cared for I need to protect my heart first. In order to protect myself now I need to learn to be an amazing single person. I need to build a new life centered around getting to know me. This is going to be much harder than I know due to two very strong competing desires : to be cared for and to have a healthy relationship. While these desires are not exclusive right now in my life I have to realize that the second is not possible until I do some more changing.
Speaking of Channing.....