Thursday, August 30, 2012

Review of a Quarter of a Century

I meant to write my birthday blog yesterday but I was busy living in the sue me I'm late.

Dear First Quarter Century of My Life,

It is officially your close. I will miss you. We have been through many firsts together; first adult job, first car that I actually bought, first time to live alone, first pet, first love and first heart break. There have been so many other “life experiences” that you brought me: not one but two degrees (Sic’ em Bears and thank God that Masters is over!), the whole “college experience”, introduced me to some of the best friends that I ever could have made. Every time I write my check for my student loans I think of them and how they are worth every penny of it.  You also brought with you some of the less pleasant adult stuff…paying bills on my own and growing up in ways I never thought I would need to. I may be scared of being considered in my late 20’s but something tells me that besides the reduction in the cost of my car insurance there are lots of incredible things waiting to come.  I do hate to part with you but I believe the next 25 years are going to be awesome.

Thank you for each and every experience,

Now let’s discuss how I showed the 1st quarter century out the door!

First, I celebrated at work by having my cubical “cubed”. The girls at work decorated it in a Baylor theme to help me welcome the new football season.

I was surprised later that day by a special gift from my Baylor Girls. They had these gorgeous flowers delivered. I cried when I read my card. I am serious when I say my friends are worth the student loan payment.
 I live in the Heart of Texas which is famous for a certain drink called a Mexican Martini...lets just saw its all the good parts of a margarita but all grown up...and strong. On your birthday you get a free one at a local restaurant. I must say when I heard this it became a must do for my birthday.

I then got talked into being irresponsible and stayed out way too late enjoying the Spazmatics at a local bar. What are the Spazmatics you ask? Just the best 80's cover band ever. They dress in different costumes for the different shows. Last night they were nerds. They also gave me a  happy birthday shout out and started a little chant for me. It was awesome. Forgive the blurriness but I was enjoying the show. 

What's the best part of closing out the 1st quarter century and saying hello to the new one ? Giving myself a present. Isn't it gorgeous? I can't wait to find new ways to wear it.
Lastly, if you remember anything remember this fortune cookies on your birthday are extra special messages. Take it seriously bed.

- J

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Stupid Christian, Edward and Disney

Edward.Christian. Damon. Stefan. Every Disney Prince ever.
What do these men have in common?
They all taught me unreasonable expectations for relationships.
Be completely and wholly devoted from the beginning? No problem.
Never look at another woman because you are the only attractive woman to them? Ok.
Tell you you are gorgeous, sexy, beautiful and hot every moment of every day? Absolutely, because we all know men have great verbal skills.
Say how much and ardently they love you without being asked? Again, great verbal skills.
Stalking is an expression of love? Umm sure if you say so.
Agree with you that their ex's are bat shit crazy? Of course, because they are completely devoted to you.
More than willing to be in a committed, monogamous relationship right from the start? Duh, because stalking more than one girl at a time is a pain.
Hearts, candles, loves notes, flowers and jewelry?  Sure, because romance and chivalry aren't dead at all.
Desperately want to marry you. Will do anything to make you marry them? Yes, that is totally how it plays out in real life.  That is why there are so many of these being are super excited to get married.
I just want someone who tells me I am beautiful. Who walks in from work and gives me a kiss. Who tells me they love me without being asked.  Who loves to hold me. Who does not mind working on the relationship because I am worth it to him. I really would just settle for a note saying " Hey Beautiful, I love you and can't wait for you to be my wife."

Is that too much ? Not according to popular literature. :)


Friday, August 17, 2012


I decided in an attempt to actually  try blogging and to meet new amigos  I would link up to a new series started by one of the blogs I stalk follow.  I have no idea how I found her but  you should check out Brie over at   Sophistifunk. She introduced a new series called Always, Sometimes, Never ( sounds like a drinking game, not that I am familiar with those).

Here we go...

Always : I struggle with technology.  I would still have a flip phone , desk top, and be using Zanga if friends had not intervened. 
Sometimes : I scream at my computer, cellphone, T.V. and other electronics  when they don't work as well as giving them two taps on the side. You will be surprised how often the two taps to the side fixes the problem.
Never: I will never figure out how to put the cute A.S.N. button on my blog without some serious intervention from a senior blogger.  I am ok with this.

Always : I will always be a diehard Hanson fan. I can not explain the loyalty. Always, no matter how many kids they have  Issac, Taylor and Zac will always be my first loves.
Sometimes: On really bad days at work I pop in Middle of Nowhere and sing along to ever song. Also when adult beverages are involved I can be found singing along to Snowed In at the top of my lungs July.

Never: Will I forget my first Hanson concert at the ripe age of 24. I felt like a 12 year old girl all over again and I have the autographed CD to prove it.

Always:   Will I struggle with finding a love for yoga. I know its good for you. I know you need to cross train. I know strength training is good for women. Yes, I want the yoga body but I am not a "zen" person.

Sometimes:  I fall in yoga class. Sometimes I look at what the instructor is doing and I laugh out loud. My body does not move like that but I try hence the falling in yoga class.
Never:   Will I be a human pretzel. Never will I be balanced on one foot with my body in a bow and I am ok with that.

Big plans to celebrate my move into the late twenties ( even though its still a few weeks away ) this weekend. Karaoke and tacos anyone? I can not wait!


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

In Real Life

So I fell pray to society's pressure...I'm reading 50 Shades of Grey. Oh! Naughty isnt it?
So very very shocking.

Lets get a few things straight I am only 100 pages in and in real life Christian Grey should be in jail.
What Christian Grey a criminal? That's blasphemy?  He can't be not with those gorgeous grey eyes and wiry hair she is always dreaming of running her hands through ( just touch it already!!!!).
 Not only is he kind of an controlling asshole...excuse me Mr. Control Freak but I am /22 and know when to eat and dry my own hair damn you!
He is also very much a stalker and in real life we call that creepy. Track me by cell phone? Know where I live without me telling you? Umm in real life I am calling the police on your nice booty no matter how tight it is.
Can we also discuss how in real life his list of demands is a recipe for domestic violence? Seriously, thank you for training a new generation of girls to think that is sexy.
Let us also discuss how in real life this book was only written so stay at home moms didn't have to feel like pedophiles when they read Twilight anymore.

Also may we also say that this book has now in real life made elevators probably a very dirty place to be. ;)



Can I also say that I was slightly scared to look at the Google images for 50 Shades of Grey.

Monday, August 13, 2012

What Boys Do That They Shouldn't

 What Boys Do That They Shouldn't

1. Take forever to text back or don't text back at all.
2. They say one thing and do another.
3."Hey, I'll call or text you tomorrow". Then nothing.
4.One minute they act like they like you. The next nothing.
5. They are confusing.

What Boys Should Do

1. Be the first to text
2. Follow through with what you say
3. Be consistent.
4. Make the first move.
5 Respond to texts within the hour.

What Girls Do That They Shouldn't Do
1. Read to much into everything
2. Act like we aren't interested even if we are
3. Act too interested
4. Ignore the fact that the boy isn't romantic or your ideal.
5. Turn into someone else

What Girls Should Do

1. Take it at face value because if you have to read into it...its not the real thing.
2. Act how you feel. If you are into him act like it. If you aren't then don't.
3. Realize the boy is not going to change. If it sucks now it will suck later.
4.Go on with your life. Do not wait for the boy.
5. BE YOU!!!!

I know I will need a reminder of these when I start to date. Anyone disagree/agree?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Signs of Singleton...

I decided to add a new series to my blog. It going to be called the signs of singleton.
Lets get started with a few...

1.  Your refrigerator only has frozen meals, low fat ice cream, Greek yogurt, vegetables ,crystal light and wine.

2. You start talking to your dog and imagine her replies back.

3. You work out at your apartment gym just to watch cable since you can't afford it on your own.

4. You read the Breakup Bible while eating a frozen meal for one.

5. Ice cream is now ok to have for dinner since you don't have to cook for anyone.

6. When your dog barks it is always at nothing in the middle of the night and from underneath your bed.

7. Every sound you hear is someone coming to rape and kill you especially when you are in the shower.

Yep, all those happened. Don't judge its not nice. Every once in a while I will come back with more as they happen as I am sure they will.


Isnt't the graphic cool? I got it from